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Film critics spend their careers on the lookout for actors like Helena Howard.
Helena Howard evensoundslike a movie star name, the alliteration laced with an Old Hollywood glamour.
I never saw the movie.
I read the description, and I was like, Oh, Ive got to read this.
I had put the monologue together myself, because Ray has some lines that break it up.
Thats an incredibly intense scene, andMadelines Madelinesometimes reaches that fever pitch too.
My favorite film isSophies Choice.
Ive seen it maybe over ten times, and for the first time when I was 11.
Its like, I used to watchBlack Swanbefore Id go to bed, to help me drift off.
Id wake up during the lesbian scene, go [half-asleep mumble], and then fall back asleep.
Wake up again, now shes dying, back to sleep.
Its an interesting way to see a movie, honestly.
When you watch these movies, do you feel extreme emotions each time you see them?
I watch them to feel, but mostly to learn.
Whered you go to high school?I went to Union County Academy for Performing Arts.
A lot of people there were really into musical theater, which I hated.
So you wanted to do screen acting from the jump?Of course.
I had a background in theater, which I liked, because you cant erase anything that happens.
Youve gotta live with your performance, because the show must go on.
I was in the plays, and I did a musical there one year.
But I didnt really have any friends.
People didnt like me very much, because I was very serious.
Theres a difference between being famous and being a great performer.
In an ideal world, whose career do you model yours after?Meryl Streep.
I mean, shes the queen, right?
We only had 20 days to shoot, and, like, 150 pages to get on camera.
And Im over here like, I dont know, Josephine, we gotta move on.
And shell say, Yeah, no, I know!
But I could be really good!
Which I love, because shes usually right.
But at the same time, Im like, Its really hot in here.
How does that compare to the dynamic you had with Josephine while making this film?Theres no connection.
During filming, our relationship was nothing at all like the script.
As a director, youve got to know your boundaries, and know who youre working with.
So its sometimes hard to stick up for yourself.
I dont think I said no at all.
I could see how much this film meant to her, and still does.
While filming, I wanted to make everyone working on it proud.
When performing, do you often feel self-imposed pressure like that?Of course.
I think being self-conscious is a big part of being in this profession.
Im an overanalytical person, constantly picking apart everything like its an equation in my brain.
and all Im just like, Im weird?
Its always prior, and after.
I go in the zone, but its not like Im possessed.
I justamthe person Im portraying.
Because its not me, necessarily, its Madeline.
Or Abby, whoever.
In my household, we didnt look at that so much.
My dad was like, Were American!
But with my mom, she was more, Were all part of the human race.
I just hated having to check other on forms growing up, because you have to choose one thing.
Im not an other!
In my career, though, it can be hard.
Auditioning is tough, because Im not famous or a celebrity or whatever.
And so when casting directors look at me, sometimes I get, We dont know what you are.
Plus, I hate waiting rooms.
I dont like watching myself.
I remember being so entranced by the sound design and the cinematography.
I didnt speak during the Q&A.
Walking out after, it felt like not knowing how to process and yet still processing everything anyway.
But looking into that fire, I was like, Oh, this is a metaphor, huh.
There was this big thing raging, and nobody else seemed to notice.
I think everything moved in slow motion.
So, wait, youre 19?Twenty next week!
Are you in your feelings about leaving the teen years?My feeling is: yaaaay!
Im ready to get out of the teen years.
I think Im going to be shooting a short film on my birthday.
I hate celebrating my own birthday.
Its just another year closer to death!
Do you still have spare time to dick around?
I am going to do a dance!
I got the sense he may have been on something?
But he says, I am going to do a tribute to Michael Jackson!
And then he starts doing I wish I had gotten this on video.
Here, it was like [gets up and does surprisingly solid MJ impression, complete with trademark hee-hee!
].No moonwalk, though.
Then he put his hand up, popped, and stood.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
