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This story was originally published on May 15, 2011.
Were republishing it today ahead oftheRoseannerevivals premiere.
Its called losing perspective.
Its hard to handle and drives you nuts.
When you become No.
I so admire Dave Chappelle.
You did right for yourself by walking away, Dave.
I consideredThe Cosby Showto be some of the greatest and most revolutionary TV ever.
Marcy presented herself as a sister in arms.
ABC seemed to agree.
They picked upRoseannein 1988.
I was devastated and felt so betrayed that I stood up and left the party.
Not one person noticed.
I confronted Marcy under the bleachers on the sound stage when we were shooting the next episode.
He told me, You were over 21 when you signed that contract.
He looked at me as if I were an arrogant waitress run amok.
He halfheartedly admitted that he had a lot going on at the time and was sorry.
I also learned that it was too late to lodge a complaint with the Writers Guild.
I immediately left that agency and went to the William Morris Agency.
I made the mistake of thinking Marcy was a powerful woman in her own right.
Ive come to learn that there are none in TV.
Those are the people who decide what gets on the air and what doesnt.
Complaining about the created by credit made an enemy of Matt.
(Goodman said no.)
That caused my first nervous breakdown.
I readThe Art of Warand kept the idea He that cares the most, wins upmost in my mind.
I knew I cared the most, since I had the most to lose.
1, which I knew it would.
I wanted vintage plaid shirts, T-shirts, and jeans, not purple stretch pants with green-and-blue smocks.
I was still clueless about the extent of the subterfuge.
I grabbed a pair of wardrobe scissors and ran up to the big house to confront the producer.
(The big house was what I called the writers building.
I rarely went there, since it was disgusting.
I said, This is no fucking character!
This is my show, and I created it not Matt, and not Carsey-Werner, and not ABC.
I will win this battle if I have to kill every last white bitch in high heels around here.
Take her aside and give her the note privately that is what good directors do.
She made sure to say this in front of the entire crew.
Then she suggested that I request a line change.
Matt, who was watching from his office, yelled over the loudspeaker, Say the line as written!
I said, No, I dont like the line.
I find it repulsive, and my character would not say it.
Matt said, Yes, shewouldsay it.
ABCs lawyers were called in.
He explained that he had let it go on for hours on purpose and that I had finally won.
He cost you four hours in production budget.
That turned the tide in my favor.
Barry told me Matt would be gone after the thirteenth episode.
Which didnt stop him from making my life hell until then.
Some days, Id just stand in the sets kitchen weeping loudly.
The crew would surround me and encourage me to continue.
I have five kids, and two of them are white!
Without all of them, I never would have made it.
Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.)
Matt stayed just long enough to ensure him a lifetimes worth of residuals.
But within a few shows, I realized he wasnt much more of a team player than Matt.
He brought his own writers with him, all male, all old.
Most of them had probably never worked with a woman who did not serve them coffee.
It must have been a shock to their system to find me in a position to disapprove their jokes.
When the show went to No.
1 in December 1988, ABC sent a chocolate 1 to congratulate me.
1 shows were given Bentleys and Porsches.
I sent that to ABC.
Not long after that, I cleaned house.
Honestly, I enjoyed firing the people Id checked on the back of my dressing-room door.
Tim didnt get credit either.
But at least everyone began to creditme.
I hired comics that I had worked with in clubs, rather than script writers.
(I did that for one or two members of my crew as well.)
Call me immodest moi?
We had our fun; it was a sitcom.
But it also wasntThe Brady Bunch; the kids were wiseasses, and so were the parents.
And that was my goal from the beginning.
It was mysteriously instantaneous!
Knowing what that really meant sent me over the edge.
It was a gut shot with a sawed-off scattershot, buckshot-loaded pellet gun.
Instantly, Hil was given the big 10-4 by the Palm management team.
As inevitably happens to all stars, I could not look myself in the mirror for one more second.
I finally foundthe right lawyer to tell me what scares TV producers worse than anything too late for me.
If I could do it all over, Id sue ABC and Carsey-Werner under those provisions.
Hollywood hates labor, and hates shows about labor worse than any other thing.
And thats why you wont be seeing anotherRoseanneanytime soon.
But Im not bitter.
Based onTwo and a Half Mens success, it seems viewers now prefer their comedy dumb and sexist.
Charlie Sheen was the worlds most famous john, and a sitcom was written around him.
That just says it all.
But, again, Im not bitter.
