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I play sort of scary a lot, a little bit outside whats accepted, Edie Falco says.
I dont know how it happened.
Im a nerdy little girl from Long Island.
(It went from $425 a month for my studio, to …
In person, Falco is more low-key than those larger-than-life characters.
(Jesus Christ, theyre into Logan Paul.)
Her latest role is quieter, too.
Its the kind of small-scale drama she hasnt done in a while.
You get married, you have a kid, youre a teacher, and in theory, youre done.
But then, maybe youre not, she says of the role.
I ask if she relates.
Ive always done whatever I want, she says.
Thats kind of weird to say out loud, but I guess its true.
deserves another chance, and explained why this is the the last dying gasp of rich white men.
I work in New York, Im a bit of a stickler that way.
I would shoot myself.
Your character wants a little more.
Where do you fall on that spectrum?Im closer to sitting at home.
It served its purpose.
If I did it any longer, I probably wouldnt be here now.
When you say it served its purpose, what do you mean?I started drinking late.
And I caught up very quickly.
Ive always been very shy, I think I still am.
But you throw a little alcohol in the mix and that goes away.
I have a lot of fun memories from that time, before it got really bad.
I remember a lot of drunken nights on the west side in the West Village.
On the highway there were all these piers, but they were broken down.
You could walk out onto a completely dilapidated wooden pier.
And doing that drunk, not that smart.
Thank god I wasnt my own parent, because I wouldve wrung my own neck.
There were posters everywhere: Stanley Tucci!
Like the captain of the football team that they all still talk about.
Its funny now that hesbecome a meme.
Everyone my age has a crush on him.We all did in college, too.
He was like the boy who made good.
He started working on Broadway immediately out of school the shining example of what we all wanted to be.
I love that were all middle-aged now and were all still doing stuff thats different and exciting.
Wesley was one of two black guys, and they never really knew what to do with him.
Like goofy, naive, not smart, but charming.
But early on I did not have a lot of control.
I just did whatever came my way.
I started to get my confidence back.
But as far as making a living, I wasnt sure I could convince anybody else of that.
I did have my friends from school: Hal Hartley, Nick Gomez, Bill Sage.
We had a thing calledThe Shooting Gallery.
I dont know what the hell it was a production office, a theater company, wed do readings.
I felt like a big fish in a small pond there.
That made me realize, if this is all I ever did, Im totally cool with that.
You made the choice to be a single mom and adopt.
When did you decide you wanted kids?Fifteen-something years ago.
So once the relationships ended, that was still alive in me, especially with that second one.
That was also when I had cancer.
When the dust settled, time was of the essence.
At 40, Im gonna be an older parent, and Im single.
So what am I gonna do, like start dating?
I was clearer about wanting kids than about wanting a partner at the time.
I figured what comes after that, like everything else in my life, will reveal itself.
Would you want to get married?I dont know.
It would have to be somebody who understood that.
But Ive always been surprised by whats been dropped in front of me.
Whats been the biggest surprise?Becoming a successful actress.
Never in my wildest dreams.
My whole life was like that for the first 15 years in New York.
And Ive been able to make my way through with not much of a plan.
Your schedule is relatively free afterNurse Jackie.
What sort of projects are you looking for?Another series.
You dont have to panic.
Which never really goes away, that panic that its your last job.
I was obsessed with it.
Sidse Babett Knudsen holy mackerel.
I love the idea of a series about someone like that.
Those are people who have definitely affected the trajectory of my life.
I wasnt brought up in any religion.
How did you land on Buddhism?Its a funny story.
It said, Learn to Meditate.
I went to this class and it was this young man and he was very charismatic.
I was a little scared because it felt a little cult-y.
But I did learn to meditate and I did love what he was talking about.
What does meditating help you with?Remembering whats important.
It all works out.
Even under those circumstances, it works out, you know, on the larger scale.
My life has been made immeasurably better by the fact that I have decided to believe in these ideas.
So what difference does it make if its really true?
Very few people can actually say, Well, what happens isthis.
I know you didnt watchThe Sopranoswhen you were on it.
We got through the first four of the first season and we stopped.
We found ourselves sort of making excuses about it.
I think it was too hard, even 20 years later.
Its too evocative, the memories of that time still are so fresh.
And also seeing Jimmy so young and vibrant.
We would watch them at night, and wed go home and be in a funk after.
I dont think I did it on purpose.
I found whenever we were alone someplace, we didnt chat Oh, how was your weekend?
But theyd yell Action!
and Id look at him and then, theres my husband.
On some level that helped keep the experience very pure for me.
This is not coming from an intellectual place.
Its only in retrospect I realize Ive done that.
Maybe theres part of me that is doing that to keep the experience very real.
You cant ever pretend its not there.
I spent a lot of years as a drug addict in that, and that was not always fun.
There was something beautiful about revisiting it without feeling like it was dangerous.
I couldnt have done that show with ten years sobriety.
It would not have been pleasant.
When Im too close to the material, its almost like a kryptonite thing.
Your character had cancer inHorace and Pete, right?That was fine.
But the further it recedes into the background, the safer I feel to portray it.
AfterHorace and Pete, you were also inLouis C.K.sI Love You, Daddy.
How did you feel when you found outit wouldnt be released?I was sad.
I know that he worked very hard on it.
Louis makes his own stuff and puts it out, and I love that chutzpah.
Ive been trying to think about why he made the movie in the first place.
Did you get a sense of what he was trying to achieve?I havent gone there.
And everything you do is wrong.
If you do too much, its wrong.
If you do too little, its wrong.
Hes someone who admitted that he did what he was accused of doing and admitted that it wasnt right.
But its hard to know where to draw the line.
Harvey Weinsteinwants to make a comeback, too.I just dont see it.
But then again, I also still believe Trumps gonna be impeached, so I have no idea.
I cant be shocked anymore by the stuff that happens.
Its almost like a great novel, I cant wait to get to the end of it.
I cant wait to see how we emerge from this.
Theres no way around the changes that need to be made.
I think this is the last dying gasp of rich white men.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
