Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
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The most unintentionally hilarious line in this episode comes from our willful, earnest Sabrina.
I nearly fainted from laughter.
Brina, babe, your aunts are at least a hundred years old, right?
We are talking aboutfamilyhere.
The Spellmans have got human secretsandmagic secrets, marriage secretsandsister secrets.
Sister secrets are the most explosive of all the secrets!
Its all verySaints for All Occasions.
Anybody else getting strongPhilip and Elizabeth vibeshere?
But Im getting ahead of myself.
Let me quickly dispense with the matters at Baxter High, which are no offense to the mortals boring!
And really dont merit our attention.
Ros is in a rush to read because she is losing her eyesight.
Which … doesnt really make sense!
Sabrina isnotabout that afterlife and, with Webster at her side, she pleads not guilty.
bit about the fact that Sabrina showed up in a wedding dress.
(The Dark Lord, in this scenario, is a jilted groom.)
This betrayal was the cost of marrying Sabrinas mother.
As for mortal rules, Blackwoods all, Sure lets tie her up and see if she drowns!
Then he says they can strip her and look for her witchs mark.
2 comes out, courtesy of Hilda.
Full powers are restored to her family.
Who says women cant have it all?
Theres only one real loser in this deal: Hilda, who has been excommunicated.
Our Dark Lord is a vengeful lord, Zelda quips.
I wonder what this means for Hildas powers and her life.
Nothing good, I expect.
Ongoing mysteries:Ambrose is under house arrest and isnt allowed a familiar.
What do we think his crime was?
Also, Luke totally killed the iguana, right?
We dont believe it just up and died of natural causes while Ambrose was asleep?
Every time Father Blackwood is with an adult woman, sensual face-touching ensues.
Do we see a love triangle brewing (witch pun!)
among him, Zelda, and Wardwell?
