Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
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Oh Satan, would that I had the confidence nay, delusional arrogance of a heartsick teenage half-witch!
Tommy is back but, what do you know, hes not himself.
His soul is floating around in limbo.
Extremely fun fact: In the olden days, witches were all polyamorous and monogamy was just for mortals.
In a moment of intimacy that honestly stunned me, Blackwood asks Zelda to be his twins unholy godmother.
(He also asks her to fill in as Satanic choirs interim director.)
No matter, all this bliss is short-lived.
Sabrina keeps insisting Tommy will be normal in a couple of days.
Does she realize how insane she sounds?
Nicks devotion to Sabrina is actually better than Sabrinas loyalty to Harvey.
Theres a lot of Tommy just, like, staring in a mirror, being catatonic, etc.
Why are we wasting so much time with this undead mortal stuff?
OBVIOUSLY something is wrong with Tommy!
You definitely do not need the cunning to figure that out.
You need context clues.
Finally Ambrose brings Aunt Hilda into the mix, because someone needed to call a grown-up.
Agatha is continuously barfing Spellman soil and its causing quite the disruption.
Then Hilda reams out Sabrina, in that perfect Im not mad, Im disappointed voice.
Witches cant go to mortal limbo, but half-witches can.
Obviously the Kinkle boy needs to be killed but, for real this time.
Sabrina is just going rogue like an idiot.
She keeps on gaslighting Harvey, as is now her standard practice.
I am not all that disappointed.
Aunt Z, correctly, reams Sabrina out for her reckless, stupid, selfish plans.
This argument ends with Sabrina choosing the nuclear option: Youre not my mother!
Dont act like you are.
Aunt Zelda, who is again correct, tells Sabrina, Everything.
Edward learned that lesson.
Its your turn now.
She also calls Sabrina out for her delusions of selflessness.
All the Spellmans walk away from Sabrina.
I find this entirely fair.
Who is there to step in where everyone else has stepped away?
Witch Wardwell, of course.
Not a great place!
Sabrina JUST KILL TOMMY KINKLE FOR THE LOVE OF LUCIFER.
But no, Sabrina ventures into Limbo which ultimately looks kind of janky?
Should they have given Sabrina to Dianas family and let her live as a mortal?
Zelda had to take her, see, because baby Sabrina looked so much like Edward.
I could never say no to Sabrina.
Hilda: Zelda, youalwayssay no to Sabrina.
Blackwood calls upon Prudence and Dorcas to murder Tommy Kinkle.
Am I a monster for agreeing with this plan?
Love is blinding everyone in Greendale, I swear to Satan.
(Did Witch Wardwell let the yarn go on purpose?)
Harvey will take care of this.
Sabrina gets home and collapses in tears on the steps.
Aunt Zelda, very maternal, holds her while she cries.
Why do I think things might get worse before they ever get better?
Will Leviathan be an issue for Salem?
What exactly do we think are Lucas and Father Blackwoods plans to reform the Church of Night?
