Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
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Meet Sabrina, your classic teen.
Shehappily chomps on popcorn during the goriest parts of horror flicks.
What does it mean to be who you are when who you are is more than one thing?
You know what the Dark Lord is really not into, it turns out?
Women having choices, especially when that choice is not to serve him.
(Is the Dark Lord the original incel?
Also onboard with the Dark Baptism are Sabrinas aunts.
and Zelda doesnt seem like shes down to indulge such flights of independence, even for her own blood.
And then they curse her!
They just actually curse her.
As Sabrina mutters under her breath when they leave: Succubitches.
(Ros: He wouldnt let me start a Daughters of the Black Panthers club last year!)
(WICCA, lol.)
She tells him everything, and it does NOT go over well, so she magics his memory clean.
Familiar summoned hi, Salem!
Sabrina confesses to her aunts that shes having doubts about her Dark Baptism.
I have reservations about saving myself for the Dark Lord.
Why doesheget to decide what I do or dont do with my body?
And why would she want to join a group that almost banished her parents for their scandalous intermagic-marriage?
Sabrina makes a wish, takes a bite, and HOLY SMOKES, IT IS THE UPSIDE DOWN.
(Does Netflix just recycle lighting schemes for this sort of thing?)
I do not blame her.
Ongoing mysteries:What do we think is up with that dead boys witchs mark?
Is no one going to notice that Wardwell is all sexy and confident now?
Where do the Weird Sisters get those cute witch-pilgrim dresses?
Could this show do with, like, 50 percent fewer extremely on-the-nose music cues?
And what do we think really happened to Sabrinas parents?
This recap has been updated accordingly.
