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Im sure you know Tom Cruise, the actor/nice guy.
Hes been running and dancing and saving the world in movies longer than I have been alive.
(He has also been doingother things, too.)
But have you met my favorite supporting actor, Tom Cruises bangs?
They enhance every Tom Cruise performance.
This hair is bouncy, feathery, and holy.
Remember Tom Cruises 90s bangs?
They were so freaking hot.
Lots of actors had long hair in the 90s, but Cruise grew these thick, luscious bangs.
These bangs were the accessory of uptown white-male ennui, and they really sold it.
These bangs were boyishly sexy.
For a while, they got not-hot.
The bangs got too big, too fast.
The fame went to their heads, so they conjured up a twin.
(This did not work.)
Without warning, the bangs left us.
After years of casting calls,Rock of Agesthrew the bangs a little work.
Cruise did his own hair work in the movie, giving the bangs a little time onscreen.
(Tom only had a little hairpiece in there!
director Adam Shankmantold Vultureat the time.
He grew his hair out for the movie.)
Unfortunately the bandanna also booked for the Stacee Jaxx role, which interfered with the bangs screen time substantially.
See, look the bangs have been cruelly snatched away from us.
Theyre gone inJack Reacher!
I happen to carry so much love in my heart for Tom Cruises bangs.
(They fuck!)
I realize that I might be alone in this, but I dont think I am.
Where did they go?
Why did they leave us?
Not even a little bit of hair in the face.
Somewhere alongAmerican MadesWolf of Wall StreetmeetsTop Gunbacchanalia, I felt a pang of recognition.
I know, I know Henry CavillsM:Imustachegets all the attention.
