Below Deck Mediterranean
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Does anything good ever happen when Bravo stuffs its lebrities into a minibus?
Thankfully for all of us, the answer is no.
This weeksBelow Deck Medopens with the ongoing fight of drunken throuple Adam, Joao, and Hannah.
Joao retorts, You goat.
Somehow, they manage to board the boat without anyone falling down.
A group coalesces around Adam on the floor of the galley to eat ice cream from a box.
Adam, who eats raw fish off rocks and has lived in a van, is rightly repulsed.
This is some babe.net nonsense right here.
Brooke takes a break from making beds the next day to meet with Joao on the floor.
He blames his drunken behavior on his alter ego, who hes named Jezabob.
Hes never met Jezabob but dislikes him just as much as everyone else.
I dont think there are worse men than this.
Hes the personality equivalent of a T-shirt that says hand lotion dispenser with a down arrow.
The next charter guests are a downright palate-cleanse from the last group of caftan-wearing banshees.
The primary is Captain Sandys friend.
She makes a living by rejuvenating vaginas.
Cut to Kasey, the only person glad to not be leaving the dock because of her seasickness.
Are you seriously asking me that fucking question?
Hannah says in her interview with the producers.
Youre a grown-ass woman you dont know how to do laundry?
The seven-years-his-senior Hannah tells him she puts her money into her shoe collection.
Before the primary boards, Sandy assembles the crew for a meeting.
The guests were supposed to be trapped on the boat, not the tender.
Jamie curses because shes a deckhand now and just wanted to do stuff with ropes and anchors.
The primary brought Captain Sandy a vibrator guaranteed to make a woman orgasm in one to three minutes.
She holds it up to her crotch and says, Wow.
Conrad holds a deck meeting in which he decrees there will be no night-watch person.
Conrad later confronts Joao, which seems about as worthwhile as having Kasey vacuum.
Since Hannah stays up until 4 a.m. cleaning stiletto imprints off the cream-colored boat carpet, a.k.a.
flirting with Conrad, she leaves Brooke and Kasey to do breakfast service on their own in the morning.
This isnt Dennys, its a super-yacht!
She descends to the galley in tears.
