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This interview edited here for length and clarity was the basis for that profile.
It offers a window into Millers creative process, his life, and what hed hoped to do next.
Your mind is traveling in one direction, and reality suddenly veers sharply left.
Talking was a breeze.
Hed done his homework.
It felt like he had been treated to more hours in a day than the rest of us.
He seemed older than he was.
Mac dealt with more, and he fought back harder.
I fall clean and hard when things turn out differently.
Music brought Mac Miller peace, and he returned the favor by spreading comfort through his own art.
He loved the Beatles, and I think a dash of their duality manifested in his own work.
Mac showed you the highs, and he spoke candidly to the lows.
He was always everything all at once.
What grew over the years was the arsenal of tools he was able to use to express himself.
Below is an edited version of that conversation.
Sometimes they differed dramatically, and I was keen on cutting through the dissonance.
He immersed himself in every interest he took up.
Thats how he grew so much in so little time.
If you want to honor his memory, work on your dreams and listen to your feelings.
Be a force that brings people together.
Seek and encourage greatness.
Take chances on people who deserve a break.
Leave unfounded rumors alone.
Malcolm was hilarious and just genuinely committed to shining love and light on anyone who needed it.
I wish the universe gave more back.
Youve been famous for ten years.
What does that feel like?What do I feel like?
I guess at this point it feels pretty normal.
But Ive had a weird level of fame.
Its not over-the-top celebrity fame, but its just … Thats the part that blows my mind.
People still listen to it.
It was like diet, carrots, and Mac Miller.
Something crazy like that.
1, you know, millions of singles sold.
That was the starting point.
When you first get caught up in everything, thats what you want.
You want to be at these places and this and that.
I think Im in a place now which is just natural to me.
The kid on the street fucks up, and its not news.
You slip up, and it could end up in a newspaper.
Is that unnerving?Theres pressure.
And that creates pressure.
Its annoying to be out and someone comes up to me and thinks they know.
Theyre like, Yo, man, are you okay?
Im like, Yeah, Im fucking at the grocery store.
This is what I signed up for.
You have to have your own reality and that has to be the driving force of your life.
I feel like the public concept of you is different than the reality.
What does that do to your thinking?You know whats funny?
I feel like the public perception of me varies on who you ask.
It actually makes me less stressed about how my actions are perceived.
Its out of my control.
I mean, to a degree …
I could control it.
I could live this squeaky-clean life and everything.
I could attempt to control the media.
But Ive just been finding a freedom in just living and letting people say whatever the fuck they want.
Like, do I really, really care what Hollywood Life is saying?
So a bunch of kids now think that.
As long as I have people that are hearing my music and theres still that relationship.
Thats interesting because I think there are a lot of artists who actually do exert control over their images.
Not necessarily by changing their lives but by getting out front and trying to kill stories.
You just feel like its not worth it?Maybe Im wrong.
Maybe thats just a game that I havent got into playing.
But it just seems exhausting to always be battling something.
To always be battling for what you think your image is supposed to be.
Youre never going to be able to get anything across.
Its never gonna be the real … No ones gonna ever really know me.
But Ive also not talked about what songs mean and whats this or whats that.
Ive just kind of left it up to interpretation.
You dont have control over perception.Yeah.
But heres the thing, is I probably do.
I probably do more than I realize.
I probably could do more to control the perception of me or what is out there.
What would that look like?I have no idea.
Would you have to be a more literal songwriter?
I dont know if youre interested in that.No, for sure.
Ive seen a lot of different takes on what the music is.
And thats what I like.
I like different responses.
Everyones not being like this song is obviously this.
Which … theres people trying.
Thats out there.For sure.
But theres different takes on different things.
I know what the song represents for me.
Is that a function of time spent in the game?
This outlook?Theres also this weird thing … songs can apply to so many different life situations.
Thats a legendary thing.
Thats a rare class.
Its you, Childish Gambino, and like, I cant think of another rapper.Yeah.
I got a one.
And thats amazing now.
I look back at it like,Oh hell yeah.
I definitely got a one, thats fire.
Something that sells more?
Something that seems cooler?
Theres certain things that I wish people knew more.
But all the other shit is like, okay.
I also used to rap super openly about really dark shit.
Because thats what I was experiencing at the time.
Thats fine, good, thats life.
It should be all the emotions.
You know, like been at one place and then come home.
And theres that moment of peacefulness, when you think about it.
But I would never actually do that.
Im also very attracted to my own demons.
I would rather …
Vices are enticing.
You listen to sad music and youre like, Damn, I reallyfeelright now.
Its a weird cycle to get yourself out of.
I wouldnt want a life thats completely Ive had a life that was completely carefree.
The very beginning of my career was completely carefree.
I felt invincible, I felt … just, zero sadness.
And then Ive had all sadness, just all darkness.
I really wouldnt want just happiness.
And I dont want just sadness either.
I dont want to be depressed.
I want to be able to have good days and bad days.
I feel like thats really important.
I cant imagine not waking up sometimes and being like I dont feel like doing shit.
And then having days where you wake up and you feel on top of the world.
And you get to experience both.
I just think that makes the most sense to me at this point in life.
For now, thats what I think helps create more growth for myself.
I didnt do anything but work on music.
All I do is work out every day, go to sleep early, all these things.
So now its kind of just like, teaching myself the balance of it all.
I do think Im in the best, most balanced state that Ive ever been yet.
Just to throw that out there.
A friend wants to know if theSwimmingtheme is a callback to the turtle from theWatching Moviesvideo component.Oh my God.
But you know what?
These themes will just connect because of, maybe, a state of mind I was in.
Didnt even think about that until you said that.
This shit always happens to me.
Ill say a line like, that Mercedes drove me crazy, I was speeding …
I made that song way beforethe shit went down.
But its still, the shit just connects.
You just have to get out of your own way, and everything will just connect for itself.
In my mind, the theme that connectsSwimmingis drift.
I thought of the sonic theme.
And then I just tried to write shit that was as real to me as possible.
And I think in that, a theme creates itself.
Because if Im just … the goal we always have is Im trying to be the most … myself.
Have you seen the Garry Shandling documentary?
And that struck a chord with me because Im like, thats the goal.
Get better and take a stab at make this shit a reflection of who I am.
Its just trying to get there as much as possible.
My goal is is trying to find some bang out of comfort.
I think the last wish I made was for peace of mind, probably.
Do you not mind if it is a good story?Its not that I dont mind.
Its just … what can I do?
Stand up on a mountaintop and say, I wrote these songs at this time in my life?
You know people do that.Yeah, I guess.
Thats just not your speed.Yeah, I dont know.
The world happens as it should I guess.
Do you deal with anxiety at all?Yeah, I am an overthinker and definitely deal with anxiety.
There are times when I am super free of it.
I think she would say yes.
How do you quiet that?Playing music really helps.
Sitting down and playing the piano is a really good way.
I have a tendency to brood about stuff and cook in it.
So theColbertperformance [I just did].
Ill wake up and just sit here and think about it for hours.
Like, replay what you could have done differently?What I could have done better.
How I could have gotten more rest.
How I could have practiced this.
How I could have worked out this.
Just the what ifs of all those things kinda drives me crazy.
How can you tell the difference?
Or can you?I really get hung up by like my voice, you know?
Because if I am in the studio I sing more than when I am performing.
So I kinda mesh the two and figure it out.
Are you suspicious of compliments sometimes?Its not that I am suspicious of them.
So whats the story withSwimming?
Going to Hawaii and being able to look at beautiful water.
Also because, like, I fucking can.
That was a huge revelation for me.
I went and worked in Chile and had a beautiful studio on like a billion acres or something crazy.
Why am I not doing that?
So I spent a shitload of money living at Conway for a month and a half.
I spent a shitload of money going to Hawaii, I spent a shitload of money going to Chile.
When it is all said and done, 80 percent of the record was done at my house.
I did two songs in Hawaii.
Hurt Feelings was done in Hawaii and Wings was done in Hawaii.
Perfecto was in Chile.
Im starting to think its an underlying message in your music.Thats how it actually works.
At some point there has to be the decision to get on with it.
Thats probably a reflection of how my mind works maybe.
At some point Im just like, Shut the fuck up and go.
There is always that moment of release and I always want that.
Everything has so much weight, but its all just chapters.
Its all just pieces of the story.
Theres gonna be a next part.
Its not a big deal.
