American Idol
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in a Hungarian accent.
And better yet, her critiques were fabulousandpointed last night.
Youll never guess who came out on top unless youve been paying any attention at all.
Caleb Lee Hutchinson
Johnny Cash HeartOhno.
The title Johnny Cash Heart is annoying just anyway (and is it really true, Caleb?
), but Calebs performance of this languid ditty somehow got slower as the song progressed.
See you on the charts, old pal!
Its likewhen Garfield sang Hello, Hawaii and revealed himself to be Lou Rawls.
Although Gabby tends toward treacly songs, she at least heeds the obligation to prove her versatility.
This performance was a pair of dungarees thrown at a porch swing.
Folsom Prison BluesThis was about five times zippier than the average Caleb performance, and it needed to be.
Calebs body seemed to now hear me out on this moveas he performed.
And he looked sharp!
Young Sajak came through with some jet-black stylings this time.
And I guess he shot a man in Reno.
What an adorable little murderer.
But otherwise this confirmed what we know: Gabby has a voice.
Its a big old wail.
She still concludes every performance with a side-smile that says, Who, me?
Except its not crazy!
Its merely very good and we need more.
More inventiveness, more nerve, more personality.
Theres a politeness to her grit and a half-heartedness to her angst.
Shes too friendly, dammit!
Miranda is effortlessly messy while Gabby is never even slightly out of control.
Dont Stop BelievinI have PTSD from the movie adaptation ofRock of Agesand wasnt ready to hear this song again.
But all was forgiven when I saw Steve Perry in the audience atIdollooking awed at Gabbys talent.
Hot take: Dont Stop Believin is secretly a depressing song.
Telling someone to believe is depressing!
Ever readThree Sisters?All they do is believe things will change and then they dont.
Anyway, I have a theater degree.
Maddie Poppe
Going, Going GoneIts savvy of Maddie Poppe to pick something this close to Phillip Phillipss Home.
Dont Ever Let Your Children Grow UpI forgot all about Cynical Maddie!
What a pleasure to be reacquainted with this dour millennial poem for burnout teens.
Its like a revamp of American Pie where the biggest voices of our generation were killed bythe mediaandtexting.
If we can reintroduce cynicism to the Top 40, Id be much obliged.
Remember when youd turn on the radio and everything was jaded except for the Counting Crows?
Maddie brings us a step closer to theFeed the Treeera of radio, and Im for it.
LandslideWell, here it is: the most perfect song choice of the entire season.
And what a weird song Landslide remains.
Its both vague and direct, metaphorical and confessional.
It sounds like a Yoko Ono tweet.
Christine McVie herself once called Stevie Nickss lyrics downright cryptic, and she is dead right.
I give this performance five Sedona shawls out of five.
Prediction:You know I want Gabby and Maddie to duke it out in the finale.
Thats the most exciting option.
But if Ive learned anything from Maddie, its to believe in my long-held cynicism.
I think its a Caleb-Gabby final two with Caleb pulling out the victory.
