American Idol
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Heres the problem with the judges onAmerican Idol: They refuse to treat this as a competition.
Lionel Richie sits there with an elbow on the table and yelps, The skys the limit!
at anyone with frayed jeans.
What this panel needs is someone who says, Hey, Caleb Lee Hutchinson?
I dont want to hear legitimate superstars condescend to 17-year-olds with bland support.
This is whyThe Voicewill always blow.
I want acknowledgment of what a petty cockfight this is.
Prince is an excellent muse forIdol: His songs teem with POV and style.
If youre covering Prince, youre forced to express personality and saucy side-eye along with killer vocals and rhythm.
Its a tall order and its a good one.
And I loved Sheila E. lurking to the side on drums.
The YYWB portion of the evening was a sober reminder of how young everyone in the competition is.
Some of these kids were born … four years ago?
We dropped from seven contestants to five this week.
Catie Turner
Prince pick: Manic Monday (by the Bangles)YYWB pick: Oops!
Funny enough, Oops!
Katy Perry tried to compare it to Amy Winehouse, but Amys version of lounge was booze-soaked and tortured.
This was blander and built for goofy hip-thrusting.
What ensued was one of the biggestIdolsnafus sinceBrooke Whites aborted rendition of You Must Love Mein season seven.
All season, Catie has played up her underdog qualities.
We got the performance we expected: that deep, luvin vocal tinged with folksy sadness.
You dont want to hear a gentle country teen warble sing The sweat of your body covers me.
You know what Caleb shouldve performed?
Sign O the Times.
Its heavy, but it has that tender sadness he couldve doubled down on.
And we couldve heard him say reefer, which I believe would be funny.
And you know what?
I almost dialed777-9311myself to report how happy I was.
It wasnt just good.
And for the first time all season I counted myself among Cades thrashing acolytes.
Go to any Barnes & Noble and its playing there, I promise you.
Gabbys take on the Womackian treacle was gossamer-light, which was fine until it wasnt.
Somewhat surprised she didnt belt 7 andsmoke them allwith its camp glory, though.
My Heart Will Go On, meanwhile, was both an obvious pick and a slightly disappointing one.
Heres the T: No one else on Earth is Celine.
She is pure joy and insanity and sheath dresses and talent.
You cannot replicate her unknowable combination of camp intensity and godlike sincerity.
Did I want her to perform Nasty Girl instead?
But this was a perfect fit for Jurnee, too, with its falsetto-heavy good times.
She is sticking to a lane that is not cool solemn songwriterliness and making it pop.
And the eliminated contestants are …Jurnee and Catie Turner.
Okay, okay, much as I love Jurnee, we knew she was going home sooner or later.
Its also possible that she was never as popular asIdolwould have us believe.
