American Idol
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TheIdolfinale is always a trip and a lie.
It convinces you with subtle, thorough trickery that every episode has been this captivating.
All your favorite contestants arranged onstage in a Hands Across America stance performing with legends!
Its an emotional, star-studded overload and a searing conclusion every single season.
My theory is that the finales are what keep fans coming back toIdol.
Rich Little is quaking.
Usually I rank the performances in every episode.
Very different recording artists if you ask me.
Lionel Richie and the Top 10: All Night Long
Oh man.
Guys, I know Lionel has spent this entire season yipping, Im a fan!
and shooting finger guns at every finalist in sight, but you cant hate him.
Hes incapable of cutting criticism and tonight, Ill allow that.
Nick Jonas and Jurnee, Jealous
Whoa, maybe Jealous shouldve been a duet this whole time?
Jurnee seemed liberated, like the weight of this carnivalesque death match was finally off her shoulders.
This show was never a perfect fit for her, but this moment was.
He was a tower of denim, like a Pier 1 couch from 1998 standing on end.
Then Gabby dropped in and together they made purdy noise about believin people are good.
Growl and Another Growl.
Cade Foehners rock look still makes me laugh.
Hes up there thrashing and yowling but his hair and blazer are pure Laura Branigan.
Meanwhile, it remains painful how gifted Dennis Lorenzo is.
He sank in the competition for no good reason, even after weeks of exhaustingly soulful, clever performances.
like they mean it.
I reject the premise of the song from the get-go!
That aside, this was cute!
Maddies gift is delivering soft-spoken sadness without being cloying or overwrought.
Like she owns a ukulele but prefers the autoharp.
Only problem: That … didnt sound like Kermit the Frog.
That sounded like Kevin the Frog.
Darius Rucker and Caleb Lee Hutchinson: Wagon Wheel
Lovely, really.
It threw into sharp relief how much Calebs voice is, more than anything, an affect.
Really, we got three minutes of these crooners chirping, If its meant to be, itll be!
and seeming content about it.
A nice amuse-bouchebefore the first elimination of the night.
FIRST ELIMINATION: Gabby Barrett
Uh, whoa.
Youve got to prepare for that deadly Kris Allen Heartless cover in the eleventh hour, Gabby!
LeAnn Rimes, Layla Spring, and her little sister Dyxie Spring: Blue
Remember Layla Spring?
She is most known for having a name you exclaim.
See, now you remember.
Its no joke when LeAnn is on the stage.
What a beautiful voice.
Just a beautiful voice.
Cant Fight the Moonlight is my LeAnn track of choice, but her balladry is timeless.
Couldve listened to that all night.
Using the power of theCon-Airsoundtrack, I just might!
TheIdolproducers had a juggernaut on their hands and what did they do with that power?
They forced teens to sing Message to Michael.
I love it, but its shocking.
This performance was a bit slight, but both performers had fun bouncing off this simple melody with soul.
Yolanda even gave you cute gestures (Mountains and hillsides!
), much like Jackie DeShannon during her 60s performances of this gem.
Trivia: Did you know Jackie DeShannon co-wrote Bette Davis Eyes?
Stand a little taller today with that fine nugget in your pocket.
Caleb Lee Hutchinson reveals that Maddie Poppe is his girlfriend?!
I fell out of my chair and screamed, MADDIE LEE POPPINSON at no one in particular.
Caleb announced their courtship so unassumingly, he acted like we were stupid for not figuring it out.
And you know what, Caleb?
Were HAPPY for you and only slightly wondering if its a stunt.
No, Kermit, theresonly this song.This is propaganda and you know it.
Ada Vox and Patti LaBelle, Lady Marmalade
Mocha-choca-YOUR HOMOSEXUAL KIDS HAVE GAGGED TO DEATH.
Ada Vox emerged from behind a curtain dressed, of course, like a volcano of Halloween-store paraphernalia.
Tinsel and eye shadow tumbled off her in a pyroclastic flow.
Patti did not come to play.
She came to twist space and time like a party balloon and wear it as a hat.
And the winner is … Maddie Poppe
Justice!
A little bit of an anticlimax!
If you watchedSundays Billboard Music Awards, youre aware we have a reigning American Idol named Kelly Clarkson.
Maddie knows she isnt destined for an overthrow any time soon.
But with her commitment to delicate balladry and the occasional oddball song choice (Bare Necessities?
), Maddies arc onIdolhas been an artistic success.
Not once did she pick a song just to appease the laziest voters.
Not once did she seem uncomfortable engaging an audience.
Not once did she seem, well, desperate.
The fact is, I loveAmerican Idols commitment to competitive schmaltz.
Its not self-important likeThe Voiceand its not ancient in presentation likeDancing With the Stars.
My answer is this: I dont know.
All I know is weve come too far not to get another Moment Like This.
