90 Day Fiance
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(Ashley used a more offensive euphemism, but I will spare you all the visual!)
On the other side of the equator, Steven is finally in Russia for the birth of his son.
He struggles getting around the airport and train station because he cant read Russian.
This is a pretty big detail just stuffed in the back end of a confessional.
Back in the United States, Reina tries not to kill Eric for being so Eric-y.
Its worth mentioning that I love everything about Reina, our Indonesian Daria.
I love that she indiscriminately takes photos of everything she sees, like Citi bike racks.
I love that she wears oversized florals in an outfit meant for a Delias employee.
I love that she thinks her sister in an idiot because I do too.
The fact that Eric has no money doesnt change just because Leidas parents are in town.
Meanwhile in Las Vegas, in the happiest place on Earth, Larissa is miserable.
She hates Colts house and wishes he lived in a bigger one with a pool.
Larissa has these unrealistic expectations of America and her fantasies are crashing around her.
I dont care if its a sentimental gift from Colts father, its gauche.
Larissas confrontational behavior prompts Debra to believe that Larissa doesnt like anything about them … which is absolutely true.
But is Debra really trying that hard?
I mean, she offered Larissa beef stew.
She tries to explain to Larissa that its her job to learn Colts favorite meals.
I find this infuriating.
Its Colts job to learn cook for his own dang self.
Its not like his dishes are hard hes eating bacon and eggs, for goodness sake.
If he can read recipes.com he can prepare his basic-as-hell dishes.
Now, we head to my sweet beautiful angel, Fernanda, in Lumberton, North Carolina.
While hes not a dumb boy, hes certainly a stupid man.
My heart breaks when she video chats with her family.
She shouldnt be with Jonathan and Id be happy to pitch in her for plane ride back to Mexico.
There are so many gems from this scene.
The fact that Asuelu is wearing American flag swim trunks.
The fact that he points at the palm trees and screams at them for not having coconuts.
The fact that he describes the beach as being covered with white people and rubbish.
I could go on, but there is not enough time in the day to cover Asuelus observations.
In truth, Im worried about Asuelu.
Im not so sure whats annoying about this … since … Asuelu … is his sons father.
Back in Russia, Steve and Olga visit a department store to shop for the baby.
This man is woefully unprepared for a child if he doesnt think a baby needs clothes.
Whats worse is hes surprised that in Olgas culture, men arent allowed in the birthing room.
This is a problem for him because he wants to see his sons first placenta-covered moments.
I can empathize with this, but Steven spends too much time being surprised.
We end this episode with Jay finally in America.
The first thing he notices is that its freezing.
Im sure90 Day Fiancewill handle this with nuance and care!
Until next time…
