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Lets be clear: Jordan fromThe Bachelorettewould be a nightmare of a hang.
But as far as reality-TV entertainment goes, the guy is a perfect 10.
But he was also a very rare sort of villain: a harmless one.
He was somebody to laugh about whenever Becca cooed over Garrett, or Lincoln snagged yet another rose.
Alas, in grand Bachelor tradition, this could not last.
How will we miss Jordan?
Let us count the ways.
His Way With Words
Lets get Jordans most iconic moment out of the way first.
Because, guess what?
Attached to me isprofessionality.
This is what Becca has taken away from us in the name of ugh love.
For example, whats with his inexplicable obsession with scrambled eggs?
(Which didnt seem … Im just gonna and then hit us with his signature pensive stare.
Jordan also had a penchant for sounding like a preteen sociopath in a made-for-TV horror movie.
Baseless, but incredible.
His Nonsensical Platitudes and/or Slights
But Jordan was no dummy!
His mouth just seemed to work faster than his brain.
If you wanna wreck my image, you cant succeed, becausemy image is me!
Im not just some guy with hair, you know?
Chickens cant fly and I think we learned that last night.
You are the skeleton of a man!
Cheers to you for being a bitch!
Love is the greatest power on earth.
Being me is MY GREATEST POWER!
BEING YOU ISNT YOUR GREATEST POWER, thats why you gotta talk about me!
Before you put your socks on, put your confidence on.
Youre uninspiring, you lack integrity, you lack passion, you lack charisma.
YOU LACK YOUR OWN PERSONALITY.
Having seen enough of his figurative portfolio, Becca finally cut him loose on Monday night.
